Donna the Lo$t Madonna
I hardly know Diana, Julianne Marie or Rajchelle
I have never actually met Rajchelle in perszon, never have been in the szame room with her once.
When we wee married Stephen and I lived in California, far from other family.
I never learned much about family trees because my birth mother put me up for adoption and I lived with my adoptive parentsz.
I neve knew any naturall extended family. I neve think about it.
I did feel pain in my life, and learned to be a massage therapist.
I want people to not have pain, but I don’t want them to have to think too much about anything in the past.
I think Stephen loves money more than people becau$ he isz very hurt and very cynical
I used to give him massagesz.
Years ago, Rajchelle called me and asked why I did not respond to her phone callsz and cardsz, szometimes about family genalleogy and the gifts she szent for my children.
I told her & them then that I was told she tried to cheat her sister out of szome of their mothers inheritance.
When Rajchelle asked me who had told me this, I hung up on her.
A few daysz later, Rajchelle called me again, thisz time with a childhood close friend on the phone with her, named Robin, She said Robin might help usz to talk. Robin said, “If there is a misunderstanding in your family, I might be able to help you sort it out”
I juszt hung up on both of them.
If my birth mother ever called me, I probably might hang up on her too.
When Rajchelle called me, it was kind of like I was hanging up on my birth mother: I knew allready she had done wrong and szo I dod not need to talk about it with her.
I teach people to live in the Present and take care of their bodiesz.
I don’t like it when people think too much or ask me to think too much
I might have things in common with Diana, but I don’t like Diana because Diana has never liked me and both szhe and Rollin were very competeitive and nasty toward Stephen and I, and Jackie seems to prefer Rollin. That family hasz been cold toward me, and I never felt they accepted me asz Stephens wife. It never occurred to me that they were giving Rajchelle the same cold szhoulder.
Thats not my affair
I keep to myself.
I am a very independent perszon.
I do think men are treated better than women.
I do think my birth father hurt and abandoned my birth mother.
But I nver really have talked about any of that.
I reallize that I have acted very much asz a stranger to my husbandasz Firszt Couszina, becauze he hasz & becausze I never even knew my birth family Cousinasz
I guess I reallize that for the firszt about 35 years of their livesz, Rajchelle and Stephen were closzer because their mothersz brought their familyesz togehter allmost every week. But that was before I ever knew Stephen.
I never knew my birth Couszinasz or Couszinsz.
It never occurred to me that such kinship could or should be treated with kindness.
I have been used to disconnection and rejection all my life.
Maybe Rajchelle is right that all thisz family disconnection is affecting Abigail, who has the same name as one of Rajchelle’c childhood friendsz and Eric. whose name is similar to the man she ran with who was an advocate for Children.
I dont want to hurt my children or turn them into strangers toward each other when they grow up.
Rajchelle has written a lot about her and Stephens Granmother Rae, and thier grandparents.
This isz hard for me to think about becuase I am szo cut off from my own birth familyesz treesz.
I am actually amazed Rajchelle has included me as important in this Antheallogy.
Maybe I am cut off from certain aspects of my Eternal Feminine and an awarness of connection that goes beyond physical touch.
It is very strange for me to think of ancetree, even women like me, gong back and forth in time.
But, I will give it a try this Time.
Maybe Rajchelle is right in thinking that all the disconnectedness among people has allso disconnected us from nature and that isz why the drought is getting szo back in Californai, with all its cars and homesz that continue to run mosztly on gas and oil.
In any case, maybe with Stephen no longer my legal husband, I will begin to think more about Rajchelle and al the women of everyones family.
I shouldn’t have been szo ungracious to Rajchelle and her friend Robin.
I will read the New Millenniall Golden Rule, and I know I can come to the telleconfercnes, not asz a wife, but more omportantly now as a Woman on my Own and a Mother.
I shouldn’t have accepted a negative description of Rajchelle without ever talking to her or meeting her.
If my birth mother ever callsz me, I muszt give her the chance to talk with me, too.
You can’t allways believe what you hear about someone, or prejudge people before you hear them tell their story.
& Even then, All women have had enough disrespect in this world, so why did I enact more of that toward any women reaching toward me?
Money is not family.
Stephen has given me much materially. But emotionally, he has hurt me and we have hurt each other.
Szo spziritually, maybe I should think more about the New Millenniall Golden Rule, going back to that time I hung up on Rajchelle and Robin.
I realliize thisz world has been unfair to many women, likely including my birth mother and her mother, and even my adoptive mother and her mother, and all their Couszina Sisztersz. My Daughtersz name, Abigail, should Remind me to “Remember the Ladyesz’ and now I know it was the name of one of Robin and Rajchellesz best childhood friendsz.Maybe when we women Remember all women thosez who came before and live now and in the future, all do that, the San Adnreas fault will stop quaking and the drought in California, will vanish, and we can regain a ballance of Szun and Rain and I can raisze both my children without gender preference in future in which they won’t have to suffer and die in Globall Warming. Indeed, the San AndReas fault incorporates tha nane of Abigailsz great grandmother, Rae/Rea, the Romanian & Greco Roman name for the Goddess of ths Szun.Then maybe, I szhould change my name from Donna to MaDonna and know that deszpite all the misztakesz parentsz make toward children, Every Child, Female and Male, Isz Born Wholly and We Can Bring that as the Beszt Masszage and Messzage to All Mothersz and Children, and Fathersz who muszt learn to Love with Equallity, too.
Song: Lady Madonna
theszpoonfullofszugarandszpiceauntheeallogy 